People here are quite funny.

When me , Hanim and Azraf first arrived here,  we head to the Chaplaincy office to find out where the prayer rooms are. We chatted with the  The Chaplaincy lady assistant, whom by the way, speaks 5 languages about the usual introductory shenanigans.  Before leaving, this is the first thing we were asked:

” So, when’s the big day? “

…………….

……….

…..

“Excuse me? “

After a couple of seconds of stunned silence , because we were trying to comprehend the question, trying to make sure, that it is indeed the question that we thought shes asking, how did the question came about from just trying to locate prayer rooms and trying out winter jackets, so out of the blue and unannounced, and also, trying to figure out whats this has anything to do with well…anything?

So we flustered an explanation how it never crosses our mind yet, that we’re just 19 for Gods sake and by the way why do you ask and is this your usual introductory question to everyone who comes to the Chaplaincy?

And she fumbled on an explanation that all the Muslims that she knows must have a marriage date set since they were 14 and the question is always relevant to Muslims she knew and it never crosses her mind that this was a mind-blogging question to ask a naive, Muslim, First Year students.

So we asked from which country is the Muslims that she knew.

Oh, Tunisia.

Right.

Second incident:

I was having an innocent lunch gathering with a group of friends at the mall. And me and a guy friend is trying to get food from the same food station. When trying to pay for the bill the cashier asked:

” Are you both married?”

Before you could look at my face, i suggest you look at my friends face. He is Chinese and it is obvious from the perfect ‘O’ formed by his gaping mouth that this is the first time he was asked such an incredulous question. I am sorry Edwin.

We laughed it off and said dude, we’re friends. Friends who are trying to get food.

The cashier, clearly not satisfied pressed on:

“So, you guys are engaged then?”

Seriously. I mean seriously, please do me a favour and get an education.

Wait, there’s more ( you think i’m finished?)

A good friend, who’s an Iraqi Muslim asked me this question:

“So Farah, when are you getting married?”

Notice a couple of things here:

1) She said ‘when are you getting married’  not even, ‘when do you think you’ll get married’. This clearly shows that it is confirmed in her mind without a doubt that i already have a potential suitor and i am just counting the days or the time to get hitched. Like its the most natural thing in the world for this process to occur to everyone.

2) She just jumped straight away to the marriage part. Not ” do you have someone in your life ? ” or “do you have a boyfriend?”. Which strikes me as very,very puzzling. I thought we dont ask among girlfriends this question UNLESS one already knew that a person is having a steady relationship with someone (Although,  I wish i have someone in my life but right now, i am still a solo rider because see, I’m still stuck on Takuya Kimura ). We girlfriends are supposed to say stuff like ” I have a huge crush on that guy”, or” I think the guy who always sits beside me is cute” and other statements of the same ilk. ” When are you getting married???? ” is certainly not what i had in mind to ask MY girlfriends whom i am not entirely sure whether theyre in a relationship or not.

It is not that i haven’t thought about marriage. I do , at some point want to get married and have children but the pertinent issue i am trying to bring up today is the view of the people here towards the Muslim community. Especially the Muslim women. It speaks so much about the dire knowledge they had about us. It is evident that they have a certain view of what women should behave and in what ways they should live a life.

And this surprises me greatly, you just have no idea. It also troubles me though, i got all this marriage questions i must have looked old enough to pass as one.

Alamak. Yikes!

P/S: recommended Kimutaku dramas are Beautiful Life, Long Vacation, Good Luck, Pride , Hero, Engine and Change. Also Hero the Movie. ( that’s basically his entire drama list). Dont listen to him singing. He sucks. Although you can still watch the music videos in mute.