One particular friend of mine, whom i love very much always brought packed lunch with her. We ate together often, and seek each other company come each mealtimes. On each session, she would insist on me sharing her food. Which is fine, with me, save for the fact her portions are always only enough for one person.
In the beginning, i couldn’t accept this particular kind of logic- you don’t offer people food that is in the first place, not enough for you as well. Not because i think you’re not gracious, no, but it’s because i would definitely say no to you so that you won’t go hungry. And then we will get into a fight with me declining and pleading her to eat her food, and she declining to be declined and pleading for me to eat her food ( and some pushing of tupperwares back and forth) At some point , i just gave up.
Henceforth i learnt one valuable lesson: It is not true that you cannot share something that you think is not good enough to be shared.
It has then become a ritual after awhile to share everything we eat. A donut, a cookie , a piece of bread, a candy! It came to a point that i would think as if i’m committing a crime if i’m about to eat something and i don’t give her a call and say ” Hey, i have some this and this, do you want to share with me. Please?”
Another one. I have this blessed friend, whose motto is practically ” We can share?”. That magical line, “We can share?” she would say with such genuine intent untill i would avoid her periphery if she’s eating because she would say it each time she eats and i would find it quite annoying. Even worse, she would give all her food to me,OR BUYS ONE FOR ME ( i never gave any cue ) if seeing i have no food with me at all, and needless to say, i find this quite annoying too. This is all me of course, not her, because i was just jealous of her striding selflessness. I am reeking with guilt of my low character, my own shame on not being on that kind of level yet.
Lesson number two: Sharing does not need any cue. What my friend did was, she thinks in way that everything that she owns, she is not the owner of it-it is all public property.
Immersed with this kind of company (i am blessed, Alhamdulillah), these characteristics began to rub on me. I began to think in terms like them too.” Who can i buy coffee today?’, ” I have a poutine here, lets call ladidadida to share it with me”.
It is not a surprise that these two lovely ladies, who taught me so much- are the best friends i ever had.
I also noticed the little things. Like hoarding stuff, and buying new things for yourself, is really something that can make you happy. But it’s fleeting. The euphoria sticks only for a week maximum then it’s back to neutral life.
But wealth and rizq that is shared, that is a happiness of a different kind. Seeing smiles on people’s faces, and knowing that you are the cause of it- is happiness that is out of this world. It fills your heart with so much warmth that it is brimming. And you create the strongest bonds and develop genuine love for each other.
You know, people tell me that sharer affects the sharee lives. ( sorry for my random english words). This quite misses the mark. The one who is the most affected is the one doing the sharing. They become better , happier people and there’s a sense of contentment. Not to mention , he/she is free from the fear of diminishing wealth.They are immune to that fear because they understand that giving out free stuff is not an unfortunate situation.
“There , i gave , that wasn’t all that bad, wasn’t it”. They get it.
Another thing: Share your happiness and great moments.
I give you one example. Travelling solo is cool, but it is not as much fun as travelling with a friend. There is a difference. Each time you experience a great moment, or saw a magnificent sight, or an amusing encounter, being the only person in the world experiencing it is really quite anti-climactic. You can’t talk about it, discuss it, can’t flesh it, can’t crack a dumb, inside joke about it. It’s ends up on being just that–a fleeting wonder in your head which only you know. It sucks.
I got a text the other day from a friend which simply said:
” I miss sharing food with you”
And i weeped silently.