Like Dany (yep, believe it i just pulled out a GoT reference) , most days my work environment consists of 85% male. Like Dany again, most of those day consists of a lot of executive decision-making. I cannot help being put into this circumstance. And thus, as an occupational hazard, i haven’t been properly taking care of my heart as a girl. Most unfortunately, i fall into that cliche’ category where strong girl meets no emotional capacity.
This is where most cliches got it wrong. One day, a friend got it right:
” I don’t think you don’t have issues Farah, it’s just you have this above average quality to hide them well “
I suspect its this inability to wear my heart on my sleeve is the reason some thought i am worthy to consult with.
It was a pattern i stumble in every couple of years. Farah the counsellor, serving you since 2009. Perhaps this was the reason , despite the ghastly quality , i still write a little bit.
Counselling, is an emotionally draining exercise, and there is no other person to place the blame squarely but upon my own two shoulders. Because i simply give it all. Especially if it involve individuals i care very deeply about. Love makes you do selfless things that is almost certain to break your heart, but selfless and stupid are interchangeable at times. No matter how much i thought i’m mature enough to withstand the consequences, my very,very girl-heart breaks anyway.
I wonder how scholars, imams and counselors in general do it without affecting their emotional stability, or drained by the hopelessness of it all, or get hurt by the very notion that you are used as an option, not a priority ( A clear error on my part on intentions but still the heart gets very upset ) .
They must get by with lots of duas. Nothing is without Allah’s help. All source of good comes from Him.
I need lots of duas and some lessons on how to set and reset intentions in order to get it unwavering and solid. Alhamdulillah for the blessing of good judgement, clear-headedness and sensibility Ya Allah.
“And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me – indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided”(Qur’an 2:186)
Ramadan Kareem 🙂